All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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