It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
