i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Randomize
