YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Bring me that man meat
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
