dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
