Already got asked if we're dating
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
