honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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