Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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