I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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