Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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