Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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