I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
