So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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