Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
its liver damage thursday
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
