I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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