My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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