Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
