Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
