We won't sleep together?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
