he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
