Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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