if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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