yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
