i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Someone signed my nipple.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
