Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
