You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
