i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
