office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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