i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Mom said you looked used
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
