I'm so fucking centered right now
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
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