and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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