my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
