Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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