I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
