Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
