So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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