who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
