well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
