Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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