This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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