quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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