May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize