Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
