were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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