Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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