Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
