...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
