My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
