i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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