I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
