Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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