I want to make a zoo with you.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
