so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
