Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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