: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
