That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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