Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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