I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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