she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I could fuck to npr.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize