so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
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